•-Bad Day-•

Today was one of the worst days of summer.
I absolutely hope this is the LAST day of this kind.
No one, at all, listened to what I had to say, so I gave up.
I was so-- I don't know what to name the feeling, but I wrote it down.
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Thursday 7/9/09-- 12:53 P.M. (Volleyball at the School)

I've lost it. Something inside me cracked, and I just stopped caring. Stopped caring about the people watching. The volleyball game. My eyes kept straying from the ball; the clock. I wanted the hands to reach three o' clock already. It's too long. Giving up volleyball, I lost my passion and my drive. It's gone. I'm going to stop coming to volleyball. If I get cold and uncaring, people will come to avoid me; it's better that way than false friendships. I feel empty. A big part of me is gone. These feelings are like that one time, but this time, it's worse. I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to close my eyes, shut out the sounds, and sleep. Sleep forever. If only. But then I can't. I have to wake up. Fake smiles, they're much harder, or easier, then you'd think. My laugh sounds so fake, that I want to laugh at myself. People think that I have it easy, being so smart, being the daughter of someone so well-known where I live, but they're wrong. It's not easy. The pressure of being the "good" child, being fit, muscular or skinny, fitting in with my friends. I'm tired of my fake smiles, so I'm just going to stop smiling. The people, days, they just pass by. I guess that would mean I'm feeling emo? Haha, I just want to laugh at that. Emo=emotional, and I'm emo? No way. I don't feel a single emotion inside me.
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I'm feeling better now though, so don't fret. :) I'm even thinking of becoming a writer, with my
skills, it could happen maybe. Now that I read back on it, I'm surprised how cool that last
line was. :0 but then again. so yeah. I'm better now..-ish. so no emo- well wrong term-
no more "empty" me.


So adios.
Sora